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The male "coolness" standard

9/1/2015

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If you're a grown man living in a household with women and children, it probably hasn't escaped your notice that you're the biggest baddest dude in the place.

A man stands between his family and the world.  When a six year old walks down the street holding the hand of a 6'2" 185 lb man, his very presence says, "This particular child is protected!  Mess with her at your peril."

Malachi 2:16 is one of the most quoted verses in the Bible.  Yet somehow the entire verse never gets read.    "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel,...  "And...?"

"And I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty.

Covering himself with violence?  As well as with his garment?  Even the Bible commentary doesn't bother to talk about the second half of this verse.  But I notice in the footnote an alternate translation for 'himself' is 'his wife.'  Ah!

In the book of Ruth, the widow Ruth tells Boaz, "Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer."  It is a request for marriage, as covering someone with the corners, or literally 'wings' of the garment signifies that person is under the protection of the garment owner.

One of a man's primary purposes in life is to protect, and it begins with his family.  A man offering a woman his name is a huge thing.  And it is equally huge if she accepts it.  It says, "My name is your name, and you are entitled to all the rights and privileges therein.  My resources are your resources.  My abilities are your abilities.  My strength is your strength."

A wife ought to be able to go about her daily business without being harassed by outside men.  A child should be able to go to school and have a recourse against bullies.  A sister shouldn't be trashed by her schoolmates if she has a big brother.

The man's strength is his family's strength and it should be used wholly to their benefit and never to their detriment.

A young man was once hired as a sort of male nanny by a single mother. She soon realized the advantage of having a male role model in her home.  Her son looked up to him, as little boys will do.

And when one day the little boy started whaling on his younger sister, the young man swooped him off of her and informed him it wasn't cool for boys to beat up girls.

Since the young man had already set the male "coolness" standard for the house, it had far more impact than mom yelling, "Don't hit your sister!"

Joshua set the male coolness standard when he manned up in front of the entire nation of Israel.  Serve all these other gods if you want to, "but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord!"

One can imagine his wife behind him lifting her chin a little higher, his children straightening their shoulders.

In the end, men have the most power to hold other men to the standards of men.  When they insist It is not cool and it is decidedly unimpressive to use your strength against people who are not up to your weight class, especially women and children, other men know their standing is at stake.

Some day every man is going to be tasked with setting the standard in their own home regarding who a man is, what a man says, and how a man acts.  

So... what is your standard going to be?


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    Everyday Living

    Valerie R Jackson is a slightly off-kilter Bible instructor and disciple serving the Most High God from Louisa, VA.  

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